I’ve been thinking a lot about that list, the ten steps to heaven list that I wrote about earlier. I find myself overwhelmed after evaluating my life. How did I get here? I feel as if I have back stepped in a lot of ways over the last ten years.
I’ve not spoke with my birth mother, my brother or my father’s sons in years so they are no longer an issue but I still feel like I have so much to sort out in my life, in my heart and in my head. Stuff I was sure I had sorted out already. Continue reading Ten Steps To Healing Me
The view from my windshield is beautiful, even in the winter time where the trees remain bare and the grass doesn’t grow. Life is still beautiful, without flip-flops and sandy beaches but it’s just so hard to take in.
Living has always been hard for me. This is just another day where my breathing feels faint; because each heart beat is painful. It’s suffocating and agonizing, like a scab being torn off a wound over and over again, bleeding, dripping, and splattering as it reaches its destination.
Continue reading A Lost Soul
Darkness is the enemy
When I’m lying in our bed
A Sadness, I’ve never known before
Is our one and only thread.
Was she worth all of my pain?
Was she worth all of these tears?
Did laying in that woman’s arms
Give you peace and calm your fears?
Continue reading I Bleed – I Scream – I Pray!
It started with a promise,
Our vows and wedding rings.
Like a story in a children’s book,
What a fairytale can bring.
Many years went by between us,
The lifestyle raised the doubt,
For you it’s one big party,
But me – I just want out!
Continue reading No Turning Back