I had just moved 856 miles away from my family, escaping 13 years of sexual abuse. I was 22 years old, standing alone, raw and lost to say the least. Love was not something I ever knew, it was something I’d never been shown. I was stifling years of pain, staring down scars, scars embedded in my soul. Continue reading HIDDEN AMONGST THE RUBBLE
Warning: The following may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.
My family gave me a life that wasn’t easy to live.
Just about every year for the 4th of July, I jump in my car and drive thirteen hours to my home town in Pennsylvania, to spend a week with my cousin Joe and his family. Having done this for the last fifteen years, I’d have to say that this year’s trip, even though cut short, was one of the most exciting because it came with a blast from the past as I met up with some childhood friends I haven’t seen since the sixth grade.
I’d already seen their pictures on the social sites we’re connected through but I would have recognized them anywhere because they haven’t changed a bit.
Jana with her spunky self can still make me laugh like she did on the school bus every day and Debbie with her sweet spirit is still laughing right along with us. We had so much fun, if it had rained, I believe we’d have just started dancing.
We took a trip and spent the day walking around Rice’s Market in New Hope, PA and then rode over to Peddler’s Village where we ate some lunch and did a whole lot more shopping and believe it or not, none of us bought shoes!!!
I cannot wait to visit and vacation with them again, hopefully one day soon at the beach!
I have to speak at my father funeral tomorrow and I am really struggling to wrap my mind around all that has happened in the last three days. Learning about my father’s death on Facebook, my brothers words ringing in my head, “I’ve cleaned his house out of anything worth anything”, fighting to find out the location of his body, fighting to stop his cremation, fighting to have him properly buried ……… My mind is not focused for drowning in the heartbreak but I must and will honor him for all that he was and all that he will forever be in the face of the evil that I will stand before.
The doctor prescribed me valiums today. He says I’m in a state of shock and the best thing for me to do is rest.
The attorney agreed with him and left his wife to attend to me as he talked with my husband in the other room.