Wordless, this photograph has sat framed, in my home, my entire life. No matter where I have lived, I’ve kept it close, hearing its horrifying screams daily, silently grasping for me, bellowing out all the words that you see from the well of my deepest despair. Words boldly wrestling within my soul, clawing out those tiny eyes, like rusted barbed wire, embracing me, bludgeoning me, shredding all that was left of my vanquished tortured being. Continue reading The Essence of a Little Girls Loneliness and Pain
If you love a man who has been sexually abused, please read this book.
THIS BOOK IS FOR MEN TOO. It touches on the areas that need to be addressed, by men that have suffered sexual abuse, to reclaim their lives. It’s an inside peek of the male’s psyche and emotions. It’s not a `fix-it’ book, but instead helps men realize they aren’t alone or crazy and that healing can be reached.
For women, with men in their lives that have been abused, this book will help you help him through the healing process. Addressing how to be there for him and how to encourage him in the areas in which he struggles.
I want to add one more thing to this chart. While offering support to this child and telling the child, “I believe you”, we should also tell the child that they have done nothing wrong, and explain that the person that hurt them is a very sick, troubled individual. To implant and ingrain in them that they are not at fault and that they have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of, this needs to be one of the first things that the child hears. Not only does it need to be said, it needs to be said on their level, looking them in their eyes so it resonates in their minds and rest in their hearts. Continue reading How Should I React When I Suspect Child Sexual Abuse
I feel the simplest way to change my life is to change my mind about things, change my perception of how things are in my life. Continue reading The Aftermath of Rape – Healing My Mind
Why am I here on earth? Why was I put here? Why was I even born? Do I have some kind of obscure intrinsic value to add to this world? Do I even serve a simple purpose? I’ve been asking myself these questions since I was ten years old.
I hear people talking about God and praising him but at this point, I am not even sure I believe He exist. He seems more like a charade, a lie everyone around the world is telling, like that of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. More propaganda of the world using a different name.
If He does exist than my reality is his fault. He bore me into this eternal hell giving me plenty of reasons to hate him. He’s force fed me more reason than I can digest at this point, more reasons than I can regurgitate from day-to-day.
I can’t imagine anyone putting a person on earth to live the life that I’ve been forced to live. An existence of vile, demonic, immoral servitude. It’s nothing less than heartless and impersonal. It’s a pointless process that no one should have to live through. It’s as pointless as the very way I was conceived and brought into this world because there was no love between my parents. My mother is not capable of love and her mistreatment of me, the neglect, emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse that I’ve suffered over the last 15 years is her way of reminding me of that every single day.
Why if God is real would he create such an evil being? Why would He put me here, choose Faye as my mother, and force me to live, in this family, amongst all these hateful, degenerate people? Why?
My life is nothing more than a ruthless, reprehensible train wreck, where I serve no purpose. It’s doubtful that I will have any kind of lasting effect in this world because in the grand scheme of things my life is utterly meaningless.
If God doesn’t exist, if He doesn’t create us then no one puts us here for a purpose, no one gives us life, which means I am not here for a reason and I have no intrinsic value to speak of, my worth is nothing more than subjective.
I’m judged by both sides of the family, and many others, including the police, simply because I am my mother’s child and because my brothers, Paul, Mark, Todd and Steve prove to be thieves, alcoholic and drug addicts always staying in trouble, always in and out of jail. Relatives assume that because they all lack character, I lack character as well so they slander me, talk down to me, belittle me.
I feel I have worth and am worthy of love but if there is no God to have a final say, who say’s I’m right feeling that and who says they’re wrong?
If God doesn’t exist, is there such a thing as right or wrong? Do I even have a soul? Do any of us have a soul? Is the immutable truth dead and buried or will I one day be able to speak it?
Maybe there are no biblical laws, after all, or moral absolutes to live by. How is one to really know?