Wordless, this photograph has sat framed, in my home, my entire life. No matter where I have lived, I’ve kept it close, hearing its horrifying screams daily, silently grasping for me, bellowing out all the words that you see from the well of my deepest despair. Words boldly wrestling within my soul, clawing out those tiny eyes, like rusted barbed wire, embracing me, bludgeoning me, shredding all that was left of my vanquished tortured being. Continue reading The Essence of a Little Girls Loneliness and Pain
I have to speak at my father funeral tomorrow and I am really struggling to wrap my mind around all that has happened in the last three days. Learning about my father’s death on Facebook, my brothers words ringing in my head, “I’ve cleaned his house out of anything worth anything”, fighting to find out the location of his body, fighting to stop his cremation, fighting to have him properly buried ……… My mind is not focused for drowning in the heartbreak but I must and will honor him for all that he was and all that he will forever be in the face of the evil that I will stand before.
The doctor prescribed me valiums today. He says I’m in a state of shock and the best thing for me to do is rest.
The attorney agreed with him and left his wife to attend to me as he talked with my husband in the other room.
If you are new to this story, please read Immorality, Hate, Selfishness, Greed: A Family Portrait first.
I SAW MY FATHERS DEAD BODY TODAY
I saw my fathers dead body today, just laid out on a cold metal table.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around today. I tell myself that if I write it all down, I will have a better understanding but I’m not being honest with myself because I’m not a criminal and I don’t understand immorality, hate, selfishness and greed.