Tag Archives: Personal Testimony

Thank You For Causing Me So Much Pain

Dear Mom,

I’m not bitter with you, I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you didn’t want to be a part of my life and my successes. I feel sorry that you would rather be my biggest failure. I feel sorry that you chose a life without me in it. I feel sorry that I’ve accomplished so much in the last couple of years and you’ve heard nothing about it. I feel sorry that you have no right to be proud of me. I feel sorry that you will never be a part of my life again.  I feel sorry that I let you hurt me as badly as you did. I feel sorry that I put so much trust and effort into building a relationship with you; a relationship that you just didn’t want. I feel sorry that I had faith in you. Most of all, though, I feel sorry that you will forever feel that I’m simply not good enough.

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Toxic Family Members > God says “Walk Away”

ToxicFamilyMembers - God says walk away

I am often asked why I don’t associate with my birth mother, my brother, and two of my half-brothers. The conversations all start with, “How is your…?” To which I reply, “I’m not really sure, I haven’t seen them or talked to them in years”. Then I am asked “Why?” To keep it simple, I  just say that we took different paths in life, which sums it up in a nutshell, but that never seems to be an acceptable answer, because as soon as it’s said, the interrogation begins. At this point, I usually just say that the house I grew up in was abusive so I walked away, so I wouldn’t become a product of that environment. I am then told, in so many words, that it’s sinful and wrong that I’ve cut off ties with my family; that it doesn’t matter that they were or are abusive to me, the proper thing to do is be patient and tolerant of their sins.

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HIDDEN AMONGST THE RUBBLE

Hidden Amongst the RubbleMany years ago, I met this guy named Alan. He was everything I’d ever dreamed a man to be.

I had just moved 856 miles away from my family, escaping 13 years of sexual abuse. I was 22 years old, standing alone, raw and lost to say the least. Love was not something I ever knew, it was something I’d never been shown. I was stifling years of pain, staring down scars, scars embedded in my soul. Continue reading HIDDEN AMONGST THE RUBBLE

Screaming Without a Sound

Screaming without a sound

Warning: The following may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

 

My family gave me a life that wasn’t easy to live.

 

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The Coffee & Christ Show – Life Exposed to & Hooked on Pornography

Original Air Date: December 9, 2013

Pornography is not just a sexual addiction.. it’s an addiction of the mind. It starts out small and grows bigger & bigger, feeding on the need for power and control. It distorts views of women/men and causes conflict and division in relationships.

If you are struggling with this & looking for a way out, you MUST watch this new episode of Coffee & Christ, featuring Steven Sawyer- “Life Exposed To & Hooked on Pornography”. Listen to his story about how he got sucked into it… and how he was pulled out of it. You don’t want to miss it!!!