Tag Archives: Toxic People

Choose Your Company Wisely

kerrichronicles.comIn our youth, due to our aspirations and interests, we gravitate toward certain friends. Whether we fancy cheerleading, fitness, the high school drama club or even a love for rebellion and underage drinking, we’re drawn to others with the same passions and we’re influenced by them.

Then there’s the relatives and neighbors that live close by, we’re influenced by them as well as we’re growing up, learning that life requires us to live honestly and morally. It requires us to get an education, secure a career path and become a productive member of society.

There’s a beauty to having seasoned relationships with friends and relatives that even I can’t deny but history alone is not a reason to keep those same friends and family members in your life. Not today or in your future. It’s not an obligation. You get to decide who you entertain and who you don’t.

We are all energy. We become the people we surround ourselves with.

If you surround yourself with people who refuse to get it together; friends and relatives that lie, cheat and steal, are manipulative, immoral, negative, dishonest, insecure, and destructive it will affect you and in a really bad way. These relationships will hurt you; they will bring you down and they will bring you down hard, regardless of the strength you feel you have as an individual, because no one is immune to a constant pounding of negative evil energy upon the soul. No one. I know this from experience.

Proverbs 13:20 – Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Relationships, like everything else in life, continually need to be updated. They need to be reassessed, as you spiritually grow and prosper, to determine if that relationship is what’s best for you.

At the same time, if you know someone is not living right but you practice the old ritual of “I choose to see the good in them”; the good being they are nice to you, give you money from time to time, bail you out or make you promises of being left everything in their will. You are doing yourself a disservice in life. You are choosing to become one of them; become part of their evil, you are quiet simply manipulating the manipulator. You have lowered yourself to their level of prosperity in life. You have sold your soul to the devil.

Apostates Depraved and Doomed

Jude 12-13 – These are spots in your love feasts, while they feast with you without fear, serving only themselves. They are clouds without water, carried about[a] by the winds; late autumn trees without fruit, twice dead, pulled up by the roots; raging waves of the sea, foaming up their own shame; wandering stars for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.

When you chose to ignore evil; disguise it as good, a life of unhappiness is what you feast on in return; a future feeling unfulfilled, insecure, enslaved; and unprincipled. You will doubt yourself daily, all while making excuses for others simply trying to see the good in them.

God does not love by overlooking sin and he doesn’t insist that we do that either. He forgives, and expects us to forgive, but that is not the same as being blind to sin or ignoring it. Forgiveness is a process that takes account of sin and duly deals with it in mercy and in justice. True love never merely sweeps sin under the carpet. It never ignores or overlooks sin.

James 5:20 – Only “he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins”.

That is God’s way of love — not to leave sin unchallenged, but rather to turn sinners from the error of their ways. We are to hold them accountable and they must repent, be remorse. They have to stop the sin. They have to truly want to change their lives. If a person is not interested in changing their evil ways, you cannot change it for them.

Every relationship you have in life should bring out the best in you.

If you are surrounded by people who bring out the worst in you, brew evil on your spirit, make you sad; make you question yourself, that’s a serious red flag. That type of relationship does not belong in your life. A true, genuine person that loves you has your best interest at heart, at all times, and they have the courage to tell you when you’re losing your way. They care enough to have those difficult conversations with you; conversations that people, out for themselves, will avoid all together. They don’t manipulate, fight, lie or cause you hardship or pain. They simply do what’s best for you.

1 Corinthians 15:33 – Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Matthew 6:22-23 – “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

If you want to have greatness in your life, surround yourself with great people. If you strive to be a happy, fulfilled, honest, confident, empowered and principled person, surround yourself with people who are of the same. It’s not selfish or heartless. Being influenced negatively by someone, affects who you are as a person. Once you allow a negative force to permeate your life, you hurt yourself, and that ultimately affects everyone that surrounds you, including those that genuinely love you.

Ditch those that are not good for you. Get rid of them, even if you love them. You can love a person all you want, but, selecting them to be an active part of your life is a whole other story. Love them but love them from a great, great distance. Set an example by allowing them to watch you from afar.

Choose your relationships wisely in life.

Be relentless surrounding yourself with those who bring out the best in you. Your direction in life depends on it. Your happiness depends on it.

You get only one life. Live it happy. Live it proud. Take care of you!

(Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 3:7, Proverbs 3:13, Proverbs 4:6-7, Proverbs 13:1, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 14:1, Proverbs 15:12, Proverbs 18:2, Proverbs 18:35, Proverbs 19:8, Proverbs 19:20, Ecclesiastes 2:26, Ephesians 5:15-16, 1 Corinthians 1:25, Job 12:12, Psalms 37:30, Colossians 4:5-6, James 3:13)

Want to read more of Kerri’s journey in healing? Check out these post:
The Essence of a Little Girls Loneliness and Pain
Love Letter to the Wounded child Inside
Toxic Family Members > God says “Walk Away”
Thank You for Causing Me So Much Pain
Toxic Family Members – 10 ways to Rescue & Save Yourself
Dear Rapist
My Mothers Legacy of Shame – An Open Letter – From Me, the Daughter She Didn’t Protect

© Kerri Bishop Reece | Kerri Chronicles

Toxic Parents – How to Save Yourself

Sorting through all the old books I’ve read, I stumbled upon this one.

This book is, by far, the most helpful book I’ve ever read. It’s powerful in its approach with revolutionary insight. Insight that truly changed my perspective on my childhood pain in a lot of ways. I’m almost convinced the author was hiding in my closet when she wrote this book. Continue reading Toxic Parents – How to Save Yourself

My Life is Utterly Meaningless

MeaninglessSitting here in the recliner at my father’s house, I can’t think of one short-term reason to continue living.

Why am I here on earth? Why was I put here? Why was I even born? Do I have some kind of obscure intrinsic value to add to this world? Do I even serve a simple purpose? I’ve been asking myself these questions since I was ten years old.

I hear people talking about God and praising him but at this point, I am not even sure I believe He exist. He seems more like a charade, a lie everyone around the world is telling, like that of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. More propaganda of the world using a different name.

If He does exist than my reality is his fault. He bore me into this eternal hell giving me plenty of reasons to hate him. He’s force fed me more reason than I can digest at this point, more reasons than I can regurgitate from day-to-day.

I can’t imagine anyone putting a person on earth to live the life that I’ve been forced to live. An existence of vile, demonic, immoral servitude. It’s nothing less than heartless and impersonal. It’s a pointless process that no one should have to live through. It’s as pointless as the very way I was conceived and brought into this world because there was no love between my parents. My mother is not capable of love and her mistreatment of me, the neglect, emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse that I’ve suffered over the last 15 years is her way of reminding me of that every single day.

Why if God is real would he create such an evil being? Why would He put me here, choose Faye as my mother, and force me to live, in this family, amongst all these hateful, degenerate people? Why?

My life is nothing more than a ruthless, reprehensible train wreck, where I serve no purpose. It’s doubtful that I will have any kind of lasting effect in this world because in the grand scheme of things my life is utterly meaningless.

If God doesn’t exist, if He doesn’t create us then no one puts us here for a purpose, no one gives us life, which means I am not here for a reason and I have no intrinsic value to speak of, my worth is nothing more than subjective.

I’m judged by both sides of the family, and many others, including the police, simply because I am my mother’s child and because my brothers, Paul, Mark, Todd and Steve prove to be thieves, alcoholic and drug addicts always staying in trouble, always in and out of jail. Relatives assume that because they all lack character, I lack character as well so they slander me, talk down to me, belittle me.

I feel I have worth and am worthy of love but if there is no God to have a final say, who say’s I’m right feeling that and who says they’re wrong?

If God doesn’t exist, is there such a thing as right or wrong? Do I even have a soul? Do any of us have a soul? Is the immutable truth dead and buried or will I one day be able to speak it?

Maybe there are no biblical laws, after all, or moral absolutes to live by. How is one to really know?

Written in 1986

© Kerri Bishop Reece | Kerri Chronicles

Toxic Family Members – 10 ways to Rescue & Save Yourself

Toxic Family Members - 10 ways to Rescue & Save Yourself

There’s a lot of advice in the world today for what to do when it comes to breaking up with a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend and even a spouse, but what about a family break-up?


Most of us are not in a position to just walk away from our family like someone we’re dating, nor do we feel we want to; however, sometimes we strongly see it’s a must when a toxic family member or the entire family is literally ruining our lives. That was my situation in my own family. Surviving the ups and downs of their moodiness and vile disrespect towards me was a challenge.


Continue reading Toxic Family Members – 10 ways to Rescue & Save Yourself

Dancing with Death

Dancing with Death

Warning: The following story may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Dancing with Death

My heart has only known darkness,
A shadow, looming over my soul.
It’s a dungeon, ever widening,
From an evil I cannot control.

The pain is suffocating,
Hovering – swaying in a dance of death,
Smothering my existence,
As I fight for my last breath.

Searching for a haven,
A harbor for my pain.
My tear drops I am choking on,
My emotions bound in chains.

I struggle to move forward,
Falling further and further behind.
Haunted by the demons,
Plagued by memories etched in my mind. 

Stumbling in the darkness,
A facade of armor,
Confident and strong.
Is this my destination? Is this where I belong?

Fighting through the chaos,
Weeping wounds along the way.
Choking on the bloodshed,
Scars left by those who have betrayed.

Praying for an angel,
Begging at deaths door,
Confusion is my mindset,
I suffer even more.

My home – a torture chamber,
The walls a distorted shape.
Hell is my only playground,
Living this childhood of rape.

Dancing with Death

If you are reading this and were molested as a child, raped, sexually assaulted, etc. I’m sure that you can relate.

When I was growing up, I felt very alone in the world. I knew that what was being done to me was wrong but I felt that it was my own fault because no one that I knew talked about this kind of stuff. My mother, the one person who was supposed to protect me, supposed to love me and keep me safe, she blamed me – she hated me – she made me feel worthless, ashamed and improper so I was too afraid to tell anyone else for fear of losing their love and respect. If my own mother felt that way about me, wouldn’t others feel that way about me too? If they knew, wouldn’t they dislike me and shame me too? I didn’t want anyone to dislike me or to shame me anymore than I already disliked and shamed myself.

I prayed daily, I prayed for the abuse to stop but it went on year after year and as the time passed, my prayers turned to questions. I questioned God – asking him why I was put on this earth. I wanted to know if this was my purpose in the world. Did he bring me into this world to be tormented or were there other reasons. I questioned Him a lot. I wanted to know what I had done to deserve the life that I had. I blamed him. I didn’t need a reason to hate God because I felt that I’d had plenty of them.

I felt that most people don’t understand how that abuse dominated my life. I feared it. It was constantly on my mind. I worried every second of every day. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I barely got by in school, I smoked cigarettes and abused drugs and alcohol to the point that I overdosed as a teenager, landing myself in the hospital with doctors forcing lethal doses of drugs out of my system.

When it was over and I was free, it continued by haunting me. I’m still haunted by the memories of each time I was touched. I’m still haunted by my mother’s words, in my head, repeatedly telling me that it’s my fault, my shame and I am even sometimes haunted by the seething anger and the need for revenge that runs through my veins. As a young adult, the reality of my world was harsh. Physically I was no longer being abused but emotionally I was often raped over and over again.

Today, I still pray about it.

Interested in reading more of Kerri Chronicles? Check these out:

No Turning Back
My Life is Utterly Meaningless
Satan Feeds

© Kerri Bishop Reece | Kerri Chronicles