The Duggar Girls Were Preyed On By Their Parents After Being Sexually Abused

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So I’ve had a few days to get my thoughts together on the Duggar story that is all over the news. A couple of people have asked me to share my two cents so here it is:

The Duggar parents knew about this abuse in 2002, before they started their show. Before they put their children in the limelight, making them public figures.

They knew that their daughters, victims of sexual abuse, would have to become spokespersons for the faith of the family. The same family that hushed up their pain, which is horrible.

Silencing their pain is no different than covering up the abuse, and the psychological harm that was done to these girls is blood on the hands of these parents.

Not only did these parents silence the girls pain, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar knew about the abuse an entire year before they reported it.

Neither, Josh nor his victims received counseling until the abuse was reported and if that’s not enough, the parents went to TLC and got on a TV show that required all of them to hush-hush about “the incidents” and pretend they were a perfect “Christian” family who’s never done any wrong.

Well I’m sorry, but Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar did a lot wrong. They preyed on these girls after they were sexual abused.

Number one, they put Josh’s needs above the girls’. The girls were forced to live in a house with Josh for a year before the sexual abuse was reported and before any of them received the help\therapy that they needed.

If my son raped (child molestation is a form of rape) one of my daughters, he would be gone. The right thing to do is to separate him from the girls–send him to live somewhere else so that the girls have time to heal. It should have never been about what made Josh feel happy and safe – he’s not the victim, he’s the perpetrator.

In addition to being forced to live in the same house with a brother that sexually abused them, their parents forced them to go on TV, put smiles on their faces, and pretend that they were part of the ideal “Christian” family all while being forced to keep the disturbing family secret.

That screams, “We’ve forgiven you. Josh, let’s just forget any of this happened”.

Pretending it never happened helps Josh, not the girls. Pretending it never happened minimizes the girls pain, their suffering and confusion, which is another kind of abuse entirely.

If these parents had forced their kids to go on TV focusing on a topic such as gardening, the situation would be different. There is no morality in gardening.

What these parents did was force their daughters to become spokespersons for modesty and purity, knowing that their daughters had been sexuality abused. Sexually abused within the family and forced to still be in that family, living in the house with the perpetrator, yet unable to be honest and speak about their suffering.

Talk about psychologically damaging. My heart breaks for these girls.

These girls were not only made to speak about sex, they were also made to praise Josh for his purity.

No wonder the oldest daughter is not out dating, running off to get married and then rushing into pregnancy. If I had to guess, she’s the healthiest member of the entire family.

Seriously, If these parents had been forthright about the abuse that took place within their family, before they forced their kids to speak about purity, it could have been quite powerful. They could have brought a positive light on a very dark area of the world, a darkness that resides in families in every city, on every street, in every town, in every organization, including churches, across the world but instead they covered it up. There is simply no excuse.

4 thoughts on “The Duggar Girls Were Preyed On By Their Parents After Being Sexually Abused

  1. I haven’t had a lot of time to read. But I was happy to find this on one of the blogs I follow because if I am following you, I value your opinion. I used to find the Duggars strange until I started watching them. And then I would defend them if it ever came up. I felt that they were a good family that loved the Lord and though I felt 19 kids was a little much… I also felt that if the world had more Duggars, it wouldn’t be such a bad deal.
    I mean, having 19 kids was already a little strange, but as the stories started coming out, I began realizing that though the parents meant well… they were weird. To wear long skirts and dress conservatively, I get it. But to have a code word? Who knows if it is true. But I heard that if a cute girl wearing provacative clothes passed in the vincinity, they were supposed to warn the boys by saying Nike and the boys were supposed to look down at their shoes. (OOOoooh, I just GOT the code word just now. Lol.) Anywaaay, anything to the extreme is not good. To be so crazy about purity is going to twist your mind. Those boys are so sheltered and deprived. I blame the parents! And it makes me sad to say, because I really thought that they started out with the best intentions. But they have gone overboard and though that doesn’t mean that “every” kid is as messed up as their older brother, I hope they get counseling. Not that every kid has to be affected the same way, I am sure that the way they have sheltered those kids leads to curiosity and in Josh’s case, worse things. And not all cases are to the extreme. Not only did he abuse his sisters and whoever else, he cheated on his wife. I hate to say it, but this is just the first one that we know of that has had such horrible effects that have back lash on their puritan stand.
    I am a believer and love what this family stands for. Hopefully they can reap some wisdom from this and save the other kids. Because hiding and making your kids keep a secret like that is not healthy for anyone. Especially the younger kids.

  2. Your voice is important on this. Even though we do not know the whole story, your one point is inescapably valid – they should have admitted that sin is real, shown how to deal with sin, and resisted the human addiction to hypocrisy. Any Christian or Christian family that pretends to have it all together betrays the clear teaching of the Bible – ALL have sinned. But the Saviour made a way out, because God does not want anyone to perish.
    Peace

    1. Thank you for shining a light towards God here, Nopew. It’s terribly sad that they’ve been in a position to impact the lives of so many survivors and make a positive change but chose not to and at the emotional expense and suffering of their own girls.

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