Warning: The following story may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.
Not everybody who experiments with drugs becomes an addict. Some of my friends have abruptly quit heroin, without completely bottoming-out. Although, I am happy for them, their experience has never motivated me to quit; in fact, it did the opposite. It merely boosted my ego, convincing me that if they could quit, I could quit too, and I would some other day.
Not that I haven’t had doubts, there were times I swore I was done with heroin forever, only to pick it right back up again. There were even a few years where I was completely clean. But, I can’t count those as good years, not in the true sense of recovery.
In fact, those years were the worst times in my life; not merely because I was away from drugs, but because I was spiritually and mentally bankrupt. Once I started to learn about recovery, and all the jargon associated with it, I became aware of so many things that I wish I never knew–ignorance is really bliss sometimes.
However, getting from an ignorant phase to an educated phase, allowed me the opportunity to apply the tools and principles of change to my life. That was the problem from the beginning; I had failed to apply what I learned. Knowledge alone rarely helps.
There are many ways to give up using; surely, there is not just one! The more I get immersed in recovery literature, the more complicated things become. There are so many theories and concepts, not all that I agree with. The disease concept, genetics of addiction, and ideas like we are predisposed to being addicted due to our brain make-up really gets me. I truly do not get it and I don’t think the people promoting these concepts get it either. I do not mean any offense by my remarks, it is only my opinion, and it is not necessarily the correct opinion at that.
Surprisingly, the best suggestion I’ve had to date about hitting rock-bottom is that it isn’t a requirement to get clean. It is a very relative term, indeed. The best way I have found to stop using is just stop using. Period! The problem is that stopping using doesn’t help me either. Getting abstinent is sometimes relatively easy for me, but staying the course, maintaining my recovery day-by-day, that’s where the work gets tough for me. That’s what I’ve yet to master!
– Aryan Olly
A heroin addiction recovery blogger from the beautiful Maldive islands.
Check out Aryan Olly’s website HERE.