When Rape Is Okay

When rape is okay

When Rape Is Okay

Yesterday I saw a post on Facebook. I went to the author’s website and found (just for clarification); that when these high school students were asked to answer the questions, it was on a rating scale 0-5. Zero equaled not agreeing at all, therefore symbolic of “NO”. Any rating over zero, would be counted as a “yes”. I just wanted that to be clear before I wrote this, although I don’t think that the number on the scale that each child chose, above zero matters. Allow me just this courtesy…RAPE IS WRONG.

This post had me thinking, past the lump I felt in my throat. I was disappointed in the fact that these young males felt this way; for any man to think it would ever be okay to force sex upon another. What I found deeply disturbing was that any female would think this behavior was acceptable; why would we think that any situation would make this horrible and vile act appropriate?

Beyond talking to our children about the dangers of strangers; what do we teach them? Do we teach our sons that it is NEVER okay to force anyone to have sex? Or do we think that the logic is implied? At this point, we can effectively come to the conclusion that it is not. Where are our daughters getting their education from? Why would anyone of our young women think that she has no say over her body? Where is the self-respect and honor? Where would our sons develop the mentality that they EVER have the right to force sex on another person?

This posting had my heart feeling heavy. If I learned nothing from the rape of the Steubenville, Ohio teen; I learned that far too many people think that when a woman is drunk or high…that consent is implied, even if she is unable to say no.

To the young men and women who answered “yes”; by responding that it was okay for a man to force a woman to have sex if:

1. He spends a lot of money on her

2. He is so turned on he doesn’t think he can stop

3. She is drunk or stoned

4. She has had sex with others

5. They have dated for a long time

6. She wanted to, but then changed her mind

Allow me to share something with you, rape cannot be changed. Rape is not one moment on a random day/night; rape lasts your entire life. You never forget the feeling of degradation. You never forget the questions that your mind poses, that will never have an answer. Rape is far reaching…no matter what anyone says.

Anytime someone tells you that rape isn’t THAT bad…they are lying. It destroys lives and can permanently destroy the hearts and souls of men and women.

As parents, it is our responsibility to arm our children with the knowledge of love. Respect must be taught…through observation. Our children are watching what we say, do and respond to; our speech must be kind and loving. Keep in mind, we teach our children callousness.

As for these young women, who also participated in this “poll”?

Love yourselves. No one has the right to force sex on you. Respect your body and your decisions; do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone anything; your body is sacred.

We need to change the rules, so we can change our frame of mind. If she/he does not say YES…the answer is no. If she/he says yes, then changes his/her mind…the answer is no. Paying for a meal, present or any other such thing…does NOT purchase him/her sexually. If you are so turned on that you don’t think you can stop…don’t even start. NO matter how long you have known him and no matter what your relationship is…it is always your decision to make.

We must do better. We are assisting in the demise of these young souls, by sitting in silence. We must take a pro-active role in the lives of these young people, who are our future. Rape is not a phase that someone goes through…it is a felony.

Remember my friends, rape is a crime that destroys. Talk to your sons and daughters; do not make excuses, like those made for the rapists in the Jane Doe case in Ohio. Stop placing the victim on trial, when we do this…we are embracing the sexual predator.

While no one wants to think their child is a predator, when we sweep such behavior under the rug…we are breeding it.

Love one another…and please…please stop the insanity.

9/19/13 Sisters of Power.

31 thoughts on “When Rape Is Okay

  1. Ok, first off. Let’s stop writing with sensitivity. Let’s be direct. The core problem phenomenon is violent sexual behavior between men and women. If we affirm heterosexuality in males, we cannot address the issue of rape between the component sexes. It’s like trying to identify a suspect (no pun intended) without indicating the actual race; or not associating writing utensils with paper. Writers are careful to use indefinite speech, to avoid offense and cricism, but that symantic undertaking is part of a broader philosophical objective, in which the time and implementation invested, undercuts the immediate need for progress in curtailing sexual violence between men and women. We cannot pretend that the root context of sexuality has changed. Vagueness and diversion provides a cover perpetrators of sex crimes.

    1. You’re right! We should say clearly that violent sexual behavior by any human being toward any other human being is WRONG and a crime. It is not ok for a male or female to rape a woman, man or child. It is not ok for any person to rape another person with body parts or foreign objects, especially a police officer to a prisoner. Rape equals any sexual act which is performed without the fully acknowledged consent of the other party and only if the other party is an adult, of sound mind and not under the influence of any drug, alcohol or other intoxicating or mind altering substance. It should never be performed by any person who has control over the other person: police, security, medical professional, clergy etc. Let’s be clear.

    1. I know right! The two greatest thing we can teach our children are Love and Respect. Not just for others but also for one self. This is truly where society is coming up short and for this reason rape crimes are rampant and on the rise.

      1. I have a lot of nieces, nephews and children I have the same worries for. How grateful I am for the Lord and hope those that I love will hold onto Him.

  2. The female numbers bother me the most. It is all upsetting but when females are accepting of the fact, where do you draw the line? Both sexes, young and old, have a warped sense of reality. I know more about this than I have wanted or can share publicly. It doesn’t come just from home. We are all contributing to the way children, teens, adults see things. I wish it were different and no one ever had to experience that type of distrust. Thank you so much for this post. Unless things change, it will only get worse. Take care!

    1. I agree Garden and thank you for your comment. Things definitely need to change. It’s terrible the misconceptions and the inaccurate facts and teachings. I can’t even imagine what things will be like in the years to come.

    1. Thank you for your input, Tina. I agree, it is incredibly heartbreaking to witness the mindset of these young girls and the boys. I can’t even begin to imagine how much worse it may get before it gets better.

      1. Yes and I think because no one knows what to do with such evil acts, they choose the simplest way out which is to be frustrated with and blame the victims for allowing it!

      2. Oh how true this is! Society blames because its to ashamed to look at itself and self and say ‘Hey, we let this happen, we didn’t protect, we didn’t defend, we didn’t love, etc.’ Society just doesn’t want to look itself in the mirror becaues they fear what will be looking back at them “reality of the cowardly” kind.

    1. No words are needed, Southern, I totally understand. I was just as shocked when I saw it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and for talking with your children. The more talk, the more they learn. They definately don’t learn the best things at school or from their friends.

  3. This post made me overwhelmed with emotion.
    I just wanted to say thank you for writing this 🙂
    It’s awful to think that anybody can think that it’s ‘okay’ to force sex on someone ever! How do people ever get it in their minds that rape is okay?!?!?

    1. Thank you, Angel. I believe it goes back to society and the way children are being raised. Raising children in the laws of the world verses Gods law where morals, love and respect are a must. The world distorts the value and meaning of all of these, making excuses for its failures as to not have to wear the weight of the blame. It’s very sad.

  4. Sadly it is not just teens who underestimate rape, recently in The UK a judge reduced a perverts sentence because the girl was “sexually experienced” and acted “provocatively”! The whole world is going mad!

    1. Parents really need to get more involved in their childrens lives. They need to be aware of what they are being exposed to and what they are learning at school and they need to talk with their children more. We need to put an end to this madness.

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